the wisplet pissed off her mr. by refusing to go to the movies with her this morning, because she wants to go look at apartments with me. best teenage daughter ever, y/y. ♥

the outpouring of love for michael jackson is actually making me sad this morning. all those people in the staples center, the people in the nokia theater next door, the people in churches and times square and televisions and computer screens around the world. if he had really known the way so many people felt about him, what we've seen over the last two weeks, i wonder if it would have helped. with so many things.

best comment on the news of the week, from kung fu monkey:

Sarah Palin is resigning in an incoherent mess and Al Franken is a US Senator. Even as a progressive, I am kind of freaked out at the strong evidence that someone, somewhere, cut a deal with Satan.

warning: i talk about all kinds of shit in here. child abuse, incest, rape, physical violence. could be severly triggering. this is not about the debate. it is about *me*.

( Read more... )

this has nothing to do with the debate, except for how reading it brought me to this place. this isn't anyone's business, except for how maybe i'm not the only one who has been going along, fooling myself like this. this shouldn't be public, except for how i've been helped more than i've even realized by people who were willing to put their shit out there where everybody could see. if they hadn't, i might not be here, and i can't deny the possibility of that to someone else.

i think, in my attempts to prove my strength and my denial and distancing, i've probaby hurt some people. i haven't been as kind or generous or understanding of other people's trauma and healing processes and/or lack of ability to cope as i should have been. i'm sorry, and i was wrong.

comments disabled because i am entirely unsure of just how able i am to discuss this. i'm physically ill right now from all of this bubbling up, and completely horrified by the fact that i have to go to california and see my family tomorrow. also, this is not a plea for hugs or love or attention. i just. i don't know. i really don't. i just had to say it.

eta: i know i put this out there, but please. please. don't email/message/comment on another post telling me to get help, get help now. i know. i *know*. but i will seriously lose my shit at anyone who doesn't respect where i'm at right now. *i'm* just learning how to respect where i actually am, as opposed to pushing myself to someplace where i think i should be. i won't put up with it from anybody else.

eta2: actually, no. i'm *not* going to disable comments. i still don't know if i can talk about it beyond this post, so if i don't respond, please forgive me. and again, i am *not* looking for hugs and love here. but also again, this shit needs to be talked about. not necessarily *my* shit, but yeah. i don't know. don't know what the fuck i'm doing here. again. but there you go.

impending trip to visit family, and while i love them all terribly, they also drive me insane, and i'm feeling preemptively cranky. help me shake it!

leave me a comment with... anything, really. want some love, tell me. want to ask me a question or have me ask you a question, have at it! want to see something, share something, spin in circles till we both fall down? fandom-related, not-fandom-related, whatever! this is the happytimes-sharingthelove post. comments screened -- let me know if you want to keep it that way, anonymous commenting a-okay.

i am home-obsessed lately (not that you can tell by looking at my place, um). anyway! i thought i would share more pictures from my folder of spaces i love.

( click for pretty )

1. when you don't go to the chiropractor/get a massage for three months and then you do... it makes you feel like shit. one of these days, i will learn. tomorrow i'll feel great, but today all i've done is laze around in bed watching movies. dear chronic pain, you suck.

1a. speaking of movies, 12 year old michael cera in frequency. HA.

2. there are bugs in my house again. WHAT. THE. FUCK. the kids think it's the group of college-age guys next door. i don't CARE, i just want it to STOP. i've never had this problem before, and i DON'T LIKE IT.

3. i'm thinking of getting rid of my land line. the kids and i all have cell phones, so i'm not sure why i'm paying 25 bucks of month for a phone we hardly ever use. thoughts? yay, nay, why?

there's been a memorial fund set up for the familly of the guard killed in the holocaust museum shooting.

i don't know if any of you do this, but i have a (very large) file of pictures of houses and rooms and decorative vignettes that i adore. i browse it frequently when my life is too cluttered and i need some space to breathe. right now, i want to live here:

( Read more... )

so, the kids and a bunch of their friends went tubing down the salt river today. and had a run-in with a trio of white supremacists, one of whom had a "very large" (according to the boychild, who is prone to understatement like a motherfucker) knife, and who threatened them with it. repeatedly. and was attempting to take on the boychild before the girls convinced the boychild to jump back in the river and leave. (he wasn't *trying* to fight the guy, he just wanted to make sure the guy was done and going away before he turned his back on him).

the wisplet, of course, was arguing with the guy with the knife and his confederate-flag-bikini-wearing gf (for example, pointing out her shaved head and shouting "LESBIAN" when they called D (who is black, and really, my fourth kid)) her boyfriend over and over, and then reported it to the cops when they got back to people. that's my girl, heh.

(there's a lot more, but i'm a little scattered right now.)

i know they're fine. i know they likely weren't ever going to be anything *but* fine, from the way the story sounds. except for the end thing with the boychild, it was a lot of hate-talk hot air. but still. i kind of want to cry right now. and maybe never let them out of the house again. i know this shit happens everywhere, but you know, it happens more some places than others, and i'm so fucking tired of arizona's right-wing nutjobs. seriously.

(also, really. if my son or D or either of the other two non-white guys in the kids' group had waved around a fucking hunting knife and shouted epithets at the white kids, they'd be fucking sitting in jail right now, and we all know it. meanwhile, these guys? got a ticket for underage alcohol consumption and let go.)

i am home. before dark, no less! i am still awake. i am even (mostly) not in pain.

i call today a win. \o/

exhibit a

exhibit b.

exhibit c.

so when do we start profiling right-wing, middle-aged, religious white men again?

via metafandom: discussion of that whole "like a (twelve-year old) girl" thing, which i hate. (the saying, not the post.)

adam lambert wants to read fic of him and kris allen together. better yet, he wants to show it to kris's wife.

brb, lolling.

i didn't watch american idol this season, mostly because i don't have a dvr anymore and i'm never home that early at night. i didn't really care much; based on the media coverage i saw, nobody really grabbed my attention, with the exception of adam lambert, and even that wasn't enough to make me hunt down episodes.

tonight, i've been watching some of the vids from the finale, and um... some of those top 13 either can't really sing, or just shouldn't be singing those songs.

and then. then, i watched these:

( kris allen and keith urban )

and um. I AM SO, SO SORRY, OKAY? seriously. how adorable can one slightly dorky worship leader (wtf) be?

( then there was adam. and kiss. )

i can't think of a whole lot of established musicians who could get on stage with the circus that is KISS and not get lost in the shuffle, much less another ai contestant. i am so fucking impressed. and holy shit, his voice.

( AND THEN THEY SING TOGETHER. WITH QUEEN. )

i'm impressed *and* in love. I NEED FIC AND I NEED IT NOW.

also, no ai post is complete without the obligatory david cook content:

( happy sigh )

seriously, i could use this so much right now, i can't even tell you. feel free not to be anonymous (unless you feel you must):

love meme


i'ma stop spamming now, i swear.

how does pete have enough charisma that i think he's hot instead of thinking he's a tool?

i don't get it.

in other news, i ♥ knotted_rose. just sayin'.

this week. ugh. that's all i'll say. that, and i could really stand to talk to someone who isn't

• somebody i work with


• a member of my crazy family who isn't my sister


• somebody i despise or who despises me


• one of my kids

knock, knock. anybody home?


i need more mos def icons. i'm watching this season of house, and just discovered he was in an ep, and omg, love him SO MUCH. but this is the only icon of him i have. WOE.

~ i love that eminem called elton john up to help him get clean.

~ courtesy of netflix's "watch instantly" feature (♥!), i started watching the visitor last night, and OH MY GOD, this cast is beautiful. meet haaz sleiman and danai jekesai gurira:

( peektures! )

SIX MINUTES TO SUPERNATURAL. I AM SO SCARED, OMG.

eta: spoilers probably going to end up in the comments!